The Collaborative Divorce Center

Finding Clarity in Divorce: Focusing on the Next Steps

Unsure of What to do, Overwhelmed by the Thought of Divorce and Afraid of What the Future May Hold? Focus on the Next Step

Focusing on the outcome makes the gap between now and the finish line seem larger than it is.

Yesterday I wanted to go for a long run. That little voice in my head said “Imagine running for 90 minutes. You didn’t sleep well, and that’s a lot of effort. Let’s save our energy and check Twitter instead.”

Taking the first step seems impossible when the gap between now and your desired outcome seems large.

Changing your focus changes the size of the gap between now and achievement. When you shrink the gap, doing what you know you want to do becomes easier. I was focused on the gap between now and 90 minutes from now. The gap I needed to focus on was between me putting my shoes on and running to the end of the block.

This happens with my kids all the time too. They often come home with a boatload of homework that takes them hours. When they focus on the gap between getting home and being done, getting started is hard. “I’ll never get all this homework done.” When they focus on doing the first exercise, action becomes inevitable.

Don’t focus on writing a book. Focus on writing a good sentence.

Don’t focus on getting healthy. Focus on cooking a healthy meal tonight.

Focus on the next step.

If the next step for you is to get some information about what it might mean to end your marriage, you can rely on me to provide accurate, complete information about divorce and most importantly, an explanation of the options that you have for how you divorce. There is a better way!

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