I am Pam Masters and I am a collaborative family lawyer, which is to say that I am a settlement specialist and I guide couples and families on the difficult journey of divorce without court involvement. I do this is ways that protects children, preserves financial assets and creates healthy co-parenting relationships.
There are many things that divorcing folks can do to maximize their investment in hiring a lawyer and many things that will cause their divorce to cost more, take longer and be more expensive.
The most important thing for a client to do when dealing with his or her divorce counsel is to tell the truth, the WHOLE truth and nothing but the truth.
I know that what we have to talk about is sensitive, painful, you might think it is embarrassing and yet, if I don’t know everything I cannot possibly give you the benefit of my best advice.
I can promise you, in 34 years, I have heard it all and yes, I do mean all. I have heard about alcohol use disorder and dependency, illicit drug use and dependency, threesomes, swinging, hot wife-ing, gay sex, affairs and multiple affairs, stepmothers and fathers over stepping, in-laws interfering, brothers and sisters stealing spouses, arrests, domestic violence, coercive control, trans gender transformations, requests for non-binary pronouns, bulimia, anorexia, narcissism, bi-polar disorder, porn addiction, sex addiction, hiring hit men (allegedly), hidden cameras, sex tapes, illegal recording of phone calls and so on and so on.
Nothing that you can tell me would shock or offend me and most important, there is nothing that you could tell me that would cause me to judge you in any way. I am your counsel, I am in your corner and I am working in your best interest.
If you do not tell me things, however, I am at a great disadvantage because I can not adequately prepare to deal with whatever it is and rest assured, whatever it is will come to light sooner or later. The worst possible thing is for something important to come to light at a critical juncture and I am not prepared to respond.
So, take a deep breath, make a promise to yourself to disclose everything, whether you think it is important or not, and as I always say: “WHEN IN DOUBT, BLURT IT OUT!”