In this video I am going to talk about me- not because I like to talk about me because I don’t, really, but because it is a video on my bio page! So you can read on my bio page all the stuff I have done and still do and about my academic credentials but as you make the really important choice of who to help you get through this challenging time, I think what is important for you to know about me is my why.
Everyone has their why. Why do you do what you do? What motivates you?
For me, my childhood was difficult. It was marked by chaos and conflict. This affected me deeply and very negatively. I became fearful, very conflict averse and quite unable to advocate for myself in any arena. So naturally, I went to law school where I would insure that I spent my life working in conflict! Sounds like the opposite of what I should have done but then aren’t we all attracted to what is familiar to us, even if it is not the best for us.
Once I was in practice and put into a litigation department, I knew within months that I did not want to fight for a living. So very early on in my career I focused on alternatives to court battles. I became a certified mediator. I became a certified family mediator. I became collaboratively trained and I spent the next twenty-five years trying to straddle the worlds of litigation and peacemaking. At the same time, I started a family and came to know the joys of a happy home with well- adjusted kids.
I spent the next 25 years trying to straddle the worlds of litigation and peacemaking-at the same time I started my own family and came to understand the challenges of co-parenting and joys of a happy home and well adjusted children
But now, I have finally made the commitment not to be the Sherpa guide into the courtroom and have made the leap to full time peacemaking I know in my hearts of hearts that this is my true calling—my true nature. Having spent many years in courtrooms I know first-hand that family litigation causes unnecessary trauma, expense, and the destruction of parenting relationships which are so very important to the well-being of children experiencing divorce.
Family court is not family friendly
I have also seen awful results in many cases; results that neither parent thought was workable or in the best interest of their family and decisions that have come two, three or four years after the beginning of the case when the family was already in tatters. These decisions in turn lead to further and sometimes unending litigation for families. It was heartbreaking not only to witness such suffering but to be a part of causing it.
Working with divorcing parents with a focus on the preservation of the co-parenting relationship, minimizing the negative impact of the split on the children-because we know that what kids long for is an intact family and that they can feel as if they have an intact family even if that family is living in two homes—using creative problem solving to make sure everyone is ok financially is the best thing I know how to do. Choosing a peaceful resolution to your family law matter is the best thing you can do.
If you are committed to having a better divorce, a calmer divorce, dare I say a peaceful divorce, then I can guide you through this. I can help you get to your new life, your new happy where you can look back at this and feel proud of the way you handled yourself and how well you looked out for your children.
There is a lot more information about my peacemaking practice on my website at www.masterscdc.com